2008 Woodie Awards
Blood, Sweat, Tears, Being Homeless
Toria Savey
Issue date: 2/19/08 Section: Opinion
You know what? I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about being homeless. I was driving along today with my significant other and I saw a homeless man and his dog. I immediately got that slightly sick feeling I get in my stomach, that I should do something to help that man and his German Shepard. I got cold just walking between my front door and the car, and this man is sitting there, with a handwritten sign, and a hungry dog and a thin jacket, and a worn Bible.
And there and then I come up with an idea. I should devote my life to helping homeless people commit crimes. Let's crunch some numbers, BST-style. Percentage of homeless people with chronic health problems: 46%. Percentage who report mental illness: 39%. In fact, including the percentages for people with acute health problems and substance abuse issues, we're talking somewhere around…100%. Check out the United States Department of Health and Human Services. They've got it all.
So, a disability check (Supplemental Security Income, if you're in with the lingo) is $512. For someone who can't work at all. So, that's rent, food, and any living expenses for $512. Try it for a month.
But, a light at the end of the tunnel! According to the Center for Criminal and Juvenile Justice, in 2000, it cost $20,000 to keep a prisoner for a year. And that was eight years ago, which means inflate that number there accordingly. So, despite the lack of freedom…you could be safer and happier in prison than homeless. You'll have clean clothes, heat, cable, a gym, even a chance to complete a college education and learn job skills in some cases.
Unite behind me, my homeless friends! Give me your freezing, your tired, your hopeless. Here in America, a better life has been waiting for you! We were just busy giving it to others as a "punishment."
Now if I could just figure out what to do for his dog.
And there and then I come up with an idea. I should devote my life to helping homeless people commit crimes. Let's crunch some numbers, BST-style. Percentage of homeless people with chronic health problems: 46%. Percentage who report mental illness: 39%. In fact, including the percentages for people with acute health problems and substance abuse issues, we're talking somewhere around…100%. Check out the United States Department of Health and Human Services. They've got it all.
So, a disability check (Supplemental Security Income, if you're in with the lingo) is $512. For someone who can't work at all. So, that's rent, food, and any living expenses for $512. Try it for a month.
But, a light at the end of the tunnel! According to the Center for Criminal and Juvenile Justice, in 2000, it cost $20,000 to keep a prisoner for a year. And that was eight years ago, which means inflate that number there accordingly. So, despite the lack of freedom…you could be safer and happier in prison than homeless. You'll have clean clothes, heat, cable, a gym, even a chance to complete a college education and learn job skills in some cases.
Unite behind me, my homeless friends! Give me your freezing, your tired, your hopeless. Here in America, a better life has been waiting for you! We were just busy giving it to others as a "punishment."
Now if I could just figure out what to do for his dog.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
JT$
posted 2/19/08 @ 8:50 AM PST
Dude excellent job!
Zoa Verdu
posted 2/19/08 @ 2:56 PM PST
does the headline relate to the article? Nothing was mentioned about blood, sweat, tears or even prison...I was expecting to read an intense story on the personal life of some "homeless man" or possible student on campus. (Continued…)
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